CREATING A LOVING ATMOSPHERE IN THE HOME
In the society that we live, no human is completely independent. Everyone is related to other human beings and the elements of nature in some or the other way. Man is a social being and always lives in relationships with other people, animals and nature. Various types of organizations and associations are created through these relationships. Family is also one such organization, wherein two or more people stay together.
A family is an organization where people stay together, live together, learn, and bloom together. A family doesn’t need to be built on blood relations only. An organization of friends, or any group of people who stay together, live and earn together, grow, and flourish together can also be called a family. The main objective of a family is to nurture the overall growth and development of each of its members.
What image do we see when we think about an ideal family? A home, where all members love and accept each other, where we can be ourselves without the fear of being judged. Everyone respects each other, we joke around and have fun, and the atmosphere is full of peace and harmony. By an ideal family, I don’t mean to say that there are no fights or disagreements. Of course, there are. But there exists an understanding among all the members to discuss those differences of opinions with maturity.
Everyone has their freedom and personal space, and no one tries to control each other. All members grow holistically and support each other’s dreams.
The institution of family can and should always become very fulfilling and meaningful for its members. But it’s also a harsh reality that so many families presently have turned autocratic, selfish, and meaningless. The reason behind this is the lack of clarity about the values and principles of the family.
Due to this, some common yet, serious mistakes are committed in families like authoritarian behavior of elders demanding unquestioning obedience from adult children, adults preaching the children instead of setting examples themselves, putting the family’s ‘prestige’ above everything, unequal distribution of wealth, income or property, women facing injustice and conservative attitude, no proper division of work, labor or responsibilities, criticizing rather than encouraging when someone fails to achieve something, not spending enough time with when they need it and as much as they need it, and questioning and doubting each other due to a lack of trust.
A happy and united family has its values in place and most importantly, there is respect given to everyone, including kids.
1. Express love
Many of us underestimate this. It’s like: since we are a family, we obviously love each other. But when this love is expressed, it does wonders. Say phrases like ‘I love you’, ‘I miss you’, ‘I’m proud of you’, ‘Thank You’ and ‘Sorry’. Compliment each other. Hug often. Write letters to each other on special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries. Surprise each other without any special reason.
2. Spend quality time together
Giving enough time to our family is extremely important. Have a relaxing no-gadget day with the family once a week can be a good idea. Watch movies together. Have meals together, go for long drives. Plan a family trip at least once a year.
Play ‘High, Low, Buffalo’- where each family member shares the high and low moments of the day, then anything else that they would like to share (Buffalo).
3. Develop mutual understanding & trust
Make it a point to listen to each other with compassion. We can share problems freely with our family and seek their guidance and help. Having a division of work and responsibilities in the home also helps. After an argument or fight, we can make the effort to apologize and put forth our point of view lovingly.
Some other ways to build trust are to always keep our promises (obviously!). Respect each one’s choices and decisions and accept them as they are.
4. Facilitate each other’s growth
Love is all about helping someone to grow. Let’s have everyone in the family- parents, spouse, siblings, children and all, know that we believe in them. Let’s always support each other, while at the same time enable each other to be emotionally, financially, and physically independent human beings. Lovingly confront one another whenever required. Challenge each other to break comfort zones.
Our family is the safest place on earth. This International Family Day, let’s cherish our greatest blessing, and feel grateful for having them in our life. Let’s express our love today!