Transparent communication in business and relationships

We have all been in conversations where despite our best efforts we were not able to connect with the other person in the relationship or transaction. No matter how much we try and focus on what they are saying or nod our heads, something just feels missing. It feels like there is an invisible shield between us and them.

One of the reasons could be because we are not being real with them or vice versa. As in, not expressing what we are the true feelings at that moment. All conversations have two components, the verbal and the non-verbal. It is mostly through the non-verbal component, that is, our body language that we show our inner feelings and emotions. It is through this that we can be real or transparent towards the other person and have an effective level of communication with them.

We are transparent when nothing is hidden from this person that we are talking to, meaning our true emotions and feelings are not hidden. Whatever we are experiencing is known to us and is open to us. We know what we are feeling, and any feelings that are relevant to the relationship are transparent in the relationship and known to the person we are talking to.

Even if we are not proud of the feelings we have for the individual, we still shouldn’t try to hide it. Because while communicating it is important to try and send only one message to the other person. In case we try to hide our true feelings, they would be hearing one message but they will be receiving another message altogether because they may sense it. People can sense some things even if they don’t understand those things easily and this will make them confused and unsure about the relationship. This often happens in deeply personal relationships, where people hide their true feelings for various reasons like trying to protect the feelings of the other person or simply being dishonest or being afraid of the other person’s reaction.

Story:

The Head of Sales of a major corporation got to know that his child has been involved a minor accident. He wanted to leave his office immediately but remembered he had an important meeting with a high-profile client and decided to leave for home only after the meeting was over. During the entire duration of the meeting, he tried his best to concentrate and listen to what the client was saying, but couldn’t. After some time, he apologized to the client telling him that his child had been in an accident and that was all he could think of and because of that was not able to give him his 100% attention. The client actually sighed a sense of relief and said that he could feel that the person was not interested but thought it was because of something being wrong with the deal. So, the client had sensed something was wrong but had then directed it all on himself and thought that he must be the one who was doing something wrong. Eventually everything turned out to be ok.

We all have been in a similar situation like this, sometimes on the giving end and sometimes on the receiving one. So, let’s try and be real and remove this false front we put up when faced with negative or unwanted feelings towards the other person if we want to effectively communicate with them.