The art of being an influential leader


Aditi Nirvaan

Therapist & Coach

The inherent desire to lead

What is greater than being able to express yourself? It is to be seen, heard and received.

Every person has a deep desire to be loved, appreciated and approved of. When you are not yet connected to your own power and greatness within, the need for external approval and appreciation is much stronger. Sometimes to a point of being desperate. And out of desperation, a lot of errors are made, until we learn our own intentions. Sometimes the hard way.

Stepping into your own power lends you authenticity, wisdom, grace, and your highest expression to the world. When you learn to use your voice for what you stand for, there are people who will resonate with that.

You won’t know who they are unless you speak and express. The more you show up, the more they do and very soon a circular energy flow is created. You grow from each other. You start to create a circle of impact to a point where they cannot wait to hear what you have to say next.

I am sure you have at least one relative or friend who is like that. You will find them in all ages, social-economic groups, cultures, religions and countries. Whatever they do or choose, they happily share that experience with their friends and for some strange reason, their friends also jump on the same bandwagon because there is a level of trust with what this person uses or purchases or endorses. Almost like this relative or friend takes the personal responsibility for the welfare of others, for improving or adding or contributing to the lives of others and you cannot taint that by offering them money. This relative or friend may probably even get offended if you do. It defeats their main purpose...whatever it may be for each of them (being influential does that you). It’s known as Motivation Crowding, a term coined by Rolf Dobelli.

All influential people grow up with a deep-rooted sense of wanting more for themselves and sharing that with others. Wanting that for others as well. And desiring to be the facilitator or medium for it.

Being influential comes from that deeper space within you. It comes from a knowing of who you are, what value you create for others, what space you occupy in the world, what are you becoming or have become the expert in or master of and what qualities you stand for.

Being a leader is not just to lead by itself. It is more about serving others. Leaders are about the collective, the bigger picture and yet the smaller stuff that counts. Noticing and leveraging subtleties and nuances where needed and at times stepping back to go big.

What is your one true potential that you know can create value for others?

The art of being influential is the exponentialization of that potential in a valuable way.

How do you arrive at this?

1. What are the things you are naturally good at?

If you are not aware of it (and most of us aren’t), ask your closest friends and family, it’s mostly one of the things they love you for.

2. Where do you spend even a little bit of time but it ends up having a large circle of impact on others?

You may get responses that are very different from what you thought you are good at from people you mean well for you. But are these things that if you take them out into the world, would create a huge circle of impact?

The other thing is to understand who needs what from you amongst the list of things you are naturally good at. And here is where we strike a balance.

Using your story for impact

Never dismiss your entire life story too. We all have our version of the hero’s journey. Every person, business, company, the brand has a story and people connect with each other based on that story.

How you have lived your life can inspire people, even if you don’t think that it’s a big deal. One of the primary principles of influence is connection and your story is your greatest asset.

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Discussion Board

How can we discover our leadership qualities?

Abhinav Sharma
I think leadership starts by just taking an initiative. It can be anything. Starting a neighbourhood cleanliness drive, taking up a donation campaign or creating an enterprise. The key thing is to bring about a change and bring people together for the cause 😇🙏
Rohit Chopra
Everyone has leadership potential. What we need is to find our own leadship style and how we can use our strengths for a greater purpose.