Raising an emotionally responsible child – Part 2


Neha Somani

Organizational & Counselling Psychologist

As parents, we need to practice certain mantras and maintain our emotional equilibrium so that we can inculcate behaviors that help kids to be emotionally healthy.

Kids don’t magically grow up to be adults. They are fostered in flesh, bones and consciousness to become the sort of adults the world respects. Growing up is more of a journey than a fixed process.

‘It is not enough for us to have good values; these values must be communicated directly... For instance, to say nothing when a child acts selfishly is to send a clear message, and that message has more to do with the acceptability of selfishness than it does with the virtues of non-intrusive parenting.’ – Alfie Kohn’s words are golden but very difficult to put into practice.

Here are few more mantras (carrying forward from the last article) we can put into practice:

1. No emotional ‘atyachar’ (punishment): Kids need to be taught to identify, accept as well as manage their emotions. Kids who accept and understand the various emotions they go through can manage them better, be more independent and better manage their behaviour.

A lot of first-time parents confess that while their kids were growing up from a baby to a toddler, they tended to control the way their child behaved. They assumed that is what they should do as parents. But later began to realize that they were not letting them.... be… be a human. As parents, we have to play the role of a light house i.e. to guide the kids.

2. Acceptance: Acceptance is the key to achieving personal growth. Our openness to the experiences of our children as well as unconditional love and acceptance gives children the support they need.

3. Modelling: Emotion regulation cannot be fed into a child like a computer program; rather it should be made a part and parcel of daily living. It is even more important for us as parents to regulates our emotions and portray positive behaviour.

4. Walk the talk: Experiences should always be backed by reflection. As parents it is extremely necessary to build a platform for reflection and foster communication and expression. We can encourage children to share their thoughts and give them the

freedom to express their emotions.

Happy Parenting !!!

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