Overcoming fears for an amazing life


Shrenya Soni

Psychology Associate

In his best-selling novel, the Alchemist, Paulo Coehlo says: ‘There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure’.

Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by a threat of danger, worrying or harm for things known and often unknown. This unpleasant emotion stops us from reaching the highest level of happiness and success.

When we fear things, our brain automatically starts creating negative thoughts related to that activity and this is how we make up our minds to not venture into the activity. So we unintentionally create hurdles in our own path.

To jump over these obstacles, the mind should rule over matter and here are a few steps that will help us make the master of our mind.

1. Recognize fears: The first step to overcoming your fear is to identify your fears. Notice and observe when you experience this feeling of uneasiness. Note it down mentally or physically on a sheet of paper. Identifying your fears will help you go down into the roots of the issue and hence, solve the issue from its root itself.

2. Deal with your fears: Once you have identified what your fears are, you should prepare yourself to face them. There are an ample number of people who are proud of themselves for having faced their fears which as a result helped them in dealing with their fears. So get out of your closet, prepare your mind and face your fears. Start small, you might also fail a few times but then you will outshine what dampens you.

3. Talk to others: Refrain from keeping things to yourself. Piling up your insecurities and fears will only make them toxic inside you. So it is very essential that you talk to someone close to you. Talking will help you accept these emotions and in bringing them out of your system. Talking about them will also help you look at the problems you are facing from a different perspective.

There is a chance that you have made the issue very complex in your mind, but actually it’s not that bad. By speaking it out loud to a trusted person, you might be able to think about differently or at least get some constructive advice.

4. Practice optimism: It is very easy for the mind to lurk around in the wells of darkness and negativity. When the mind is in the lowest of situations, you tend to stagnate in that position because it does not demand any effort out of you, physically or mentally.

But when you want to rise above problems, you have to make efforts to climb out of the well in which you’re stuck. So you remind yourself to be optimistic, as soon as your mind tries to bounce back into thinking negatively, you need to remind it to think positively.

5. Learn relaxation techniques: When you’re on a journey to overcome your fears, there will always be a thought in your mind which will keep pulling you back to the place you want to cut ties from. For this, you need to learn relaxation techniques that will help you calm yourself when these thoughts take over your mind. Few of these techniques are: Deep and mindful breathing, stretching, listening to calming music or just going for a walk or a run. For the long term, you must also practice yoga because that keeps the brain calm in all situations.

6. Encourage yourself: Make small goals for yourself and when you accomplish these small goals, encourage yourself. Treat yourself with your favourite food or go out but make yourself happy. It will keep you at your goal to overcome your fear. Share this with your friends so that they can also keep pumping you up; so that you keep believing in yourself and acing the goal that you have set for yourself.

7. See fears as opportunities: Often these fears can turn into great opportunities. You fear because on some level those things matter to you. You fear about losing our job as you love going to work. You fear making a fool of yourself as your image is important to you.

Having a positive outlook on these fears helps in overcoming them. When you look at it this way, you refrain from attaching any more negative emotions to your fear, you start looking at it as a hurdle that you are supposed to jump over in the process of your growth. In the process of overcoming these fears, many people become masters of what they feared because they kept practicing and getting better at the activity.

Overcoming hurdles is not an easy task but what is simple is to train your mind to help you overcome these hurdles. If you fear there is a hurdle that you have to cross, then you have to train your mind to help you with it. After all, even God helps only those who help themselves!

Your mind can either be your friend or your enemy, but that is what you have to control. So get started and jump over that hurdle!

View more content by Shrenya Soni

Discussion Board

Have you overcome any of your fears? How?

When I was in school, I was pretty shy and was scared of talking to new people. It was during my college days when I was in a hostel that I learnt to make new friends and speak to strangers. I think sometimes a change in the situation or environment allows us to grow 😇✌️
Panu Kanode
Hi rohit chopra sir I m new in this application can you please suggest me any mental relaxation topic please
Hi Panu thanks for your query. You can try the meditation sesssions in the app and also journaling (writing down your thoughts) to help clam the mind 😇🙏
Nishi Soni
A kick start into overcoming our fears! Great article 👍
Arshiya Siddiqui
How to overcome the fear of failure?