BUSTING COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS MOST OF US HAVE ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS
Relationship, a word that makes every person feel different things. We’ve seen films and shows read poetry and books written on it, and that is because our whole lives revolve around it. We are social animals and make connections, some turn into friendships and some turn into romantic relationships.
Building and maintaining a relationship is not as easy as we think it is. Probably that is why we find so many people who choose not to get into it. But why all the fuss?
Why are relationships so overrated when in simple terms it is just two people being together, who feel comfortable in each other’s company? It is because we view relationships along with socially constructed ideas and that is what scares us from getting into a romantic relationship.
So here we’ll be breaking a few myths attached to relationships:
1. Love is all that matters in a relationship
A major myth that ruins many relationships is the fact that people believe that love is all that matters for a relationship to work out. This creates a huge issue with people taking things for granted in a relationship and also leads to an inability to come out of a toxic relationship. Love is the foundation on which respect, trust, responsibilities, sacrifices and a lot of effort stand. So love is a great starting point, but it has be built upon. All these elements make up a mature relationship.
2. There is only one True Love
People believe that there is only one true love for them in this world. It may be an idealistic, but sometimes unrealistic idea. This belief sometimes makes people try to work out a relationship that will probably never work. And can later lead to problems in moving on and finding someone new, because they thought that they have already lost their one true love, whom they were actually supposed to be with together forever. It is really great if one finds the life partner in the first relationship itself, but if one doesn’t that’s also okay.
3. Relationships are effortless
It’s a faulty idea that relationships are effortless. We sometimes say that – ‘if it’s meant to be it will’. Not completely true. Even the strongest relationships need efforts. People think that if at all they need to put efforts in their relationship something is wrong. Sometimes, when people do not put enough effort in the relationship (apart from love and caring), the part may get upset and even break up. But there is definitely a limit until which the efforts should be made and the efforts should be made by both the people in a relationship.
4. Couples should be telepathic
This myth is about couples expecting to understand each others’ thoughts and feelings without any communication whatsoever. A relationship is based on the foundation of communication. Expecting the partner to know everything, without any communication, is not something we should rely on. It’s not every time that people will know what we’re going through or what we’re thinking unless we speak.
5. Jealousy is a true sign of love
It’s a trend these days and a person being jealous about the other partner is cute for the people around. This jealousy is decked by showing extra care, love and attention which may ultimately result in nothing. The caregiving continues but the jealousy still stays. Hence, jealousy is something that is not cute and is only a myth. It can destroy relationships and excessive jealousy is an indicator of a toxic relationship.
6. All fights ruin relationships
Fights are an important medium of communication among a couple. But there are types of conflicts that are different in nature. A fight that ends up in not talking for days is a bad sign but a healthy conflict is where the fight ends with the partners settling things between themselves, making adjustments and agreeing to respect each others’ concerns. Hence, having fights can sometimes make two people understand each other better if handled in a proper way. So fights are not something to be celebrated, but if they do happen, they can be handled with mutual respect.
7. People have to change completely for the relationship to work
Pointing fingers in a relationship is easy. Blaming the other person seems to be a major reason why many relationships fail. It is a myth that we need to become a different person in order for a relationship to succeed. Being with the people we love should make us feel comfortable about ourselves and not constantly be reminded of our flaws. Also, we don’t have to love every part of our partner’s personality, neither do we have to try to change it. We can just accept it and learn to live with it, if it does not involve abuse or finger-pointing.
8. All conflicts can be resolved
According to research, 66% of relationship conflicts are perpetual which means that they keep recurring. Hence, thinking that we can resolve all conflicts is wrong. What is required here is the acceptance of each other’s personality differences and making things better for each other. The goal here should be managing the conflicts respectfully.
Hence, let’s not be scared of stepping into a relationship just because society says it’s difficult. If we are with the right person it is fun to figure out how beautiful a human relationship can be.