DON'T LET SOCIETY JUDGE YOU BY THEIR BEAUTY STANDARDS
I'm going to share with you a real-life experience of a friend and what I learnt from her.
She was only 10 years old when she was bullied for her weight for the first time and if you think it was her classmates or friends who bullied her, then no, they were her relatives who started comparing her with her 3 year old sister and their own daughters . Not only on the basis of weight but also so-called 'beauty'!
I've realized that in our society no one is happy by the way they look, no one finds themselves attractive because everyone looks at themselves through someone else’s expectations of what beauty is.
She is my best friend or at least the only friend who I trust like a sister. She is happy with her body but I don’t think others are quite pleased on seeing her happy. I've noticed a few people saying to her that one should try to have a balanced weight in order to avoid future health problems like heart failures or cholesterol problems.
You probably have also heard people saying, 'Beta, weight kam karlo warna baad mein acchhi biwi/ acchhaa pati nahi milega (lose some weight, my child, or you won’t get a good husband/wife in the future). Or: 'Beta, thoda aur weight lose karlo, bohat khoobsurat lagoge/ lagogi' (lose some weight, my child, you will look beautiful).
Thankfully, my friend is one of those positive people who does not care about these things and just tries to be happy and spread joy around her, instead of focusing on such ignorant comments. I am deeply inspired by her; I am one of those girls who was never happy whenever they looked in the mirror but she is one of those few girls who can even make the mirror smile!
She has a habit of comparing her body with mine and says that she is jealous, but how am I supposed to tell her that it is me who is jealous of her because of her immense talents and for the beautiful person she is inside-out.
We met for the first time in school in 4th standard . However, I changed my school in 6th standard and we were not very good friends back then. As fate would have it, we met again in 11th standard when she changed her school to the one I was studying in and we are friends since that day.
She has the perfect little sister who cannot stand anyone saying anything ill for her big sister, she has the most genuine parents who teach her not to feel a thing when someone teases her. She's learnt the way to be confident and beautiful in her own, unique way.
She has the cutest friend from her college whom she whenever asks, 'Main moti hu naa?' (I am fat, right?). He playfully answers, 'Haan bohat, chal dono saath mein gym karenge' (Yes, you're right, we'll go to the gym together).
She has learned to accept all the criticism from the society because all that matters to her at the end of the day is that the people she loves the most also love her and care for her and will always be present for her, no matter what.
I’ve seen a lot of people criticising each other on the basis of how they look but all I want to ask is, on what basis? What are their criteria of beauty or body standards? And where are these universal standards written which are making each and every person so negative about their own body?
All I mean to say is, if someone wants to change their body in a certain way, they should do it on their own will; for their own health and happiness. Not because other people are saying something to make them feel unattractive.
Whatever you do you will never be able to get par someone else’s beauty expectations, so set your own.
Do you think we sometimes put too much pressure on others or even ourselves to look a certain way?