HOW TO RID OURSELVES FROM THE COMPLEX HOLDING US BACK
All of us, young or old, fat or thin, black or white, can feel somewhat inferior to others during some point in our lives. We tell ourselves that we aren't good enough, pretty enough or smart enough, but these comments to the self are a distortion of the reality.
Let's discuss the ‘Inferiority Complex’ in more detail.
An inferiority complex involves feelings of not measuring up to standards, a doubt and uncertainty about oneself, and a lack of self-esteem. Regardless of how we pretend to be when in the company of others, we perceive ourselves negatively and feel inadequate. We believe we are somehow less than the others and always want to disappear in the background.
This belief is a complete distortion of our own reality and because of this, we miss out on great opportunities in life. We may find ourselves getting into relationships expecting the other person to fill a void within our own self. We may be unable to accept compliments. We may be easy to manipulate or may conform easily. We may experience feelings of anxiety, low self-worth, and fear of rejection. Luckily, there are quite a few steps that we can take to eliminate inferiority complex from our lives.
1. Not comparing ourselves with others
We have a tendency to constantly compare ourselves with others: we compare how we look, talk about our social life or how successful others are. When we make this comparison, we see ourselves as less than others. The repercussions of this are, that we miss out on great opportunities by not taking risks or pursuing our dreams; rather we just do what we think we’re supposed to do.
2.Embrace the self
One should learn to accept one’ s imperfections: we should accept ourselves and be comfortable in our own skin. We have strengths, we should learn to embrace them too rather than just focusing on our weaknesses. It’s easy to get caught up with all of the things we’re not. But those things don’t define us at all. There are so many good things about us. Let’s take out a piece of paper and write down everything we are good at. We’ll find that we have more strengths than we believe. We must learn to embrace our authentic self.
3. Be around people who uplift us
If we are in a toxic relationship, we need to get out of it. Yes, even if it means ending the relationship with our closest family members or friends.
Instead, let’s choose the kind of relationships that make us feel good, wholesome and positive. We must be with the people who make us feel that we’re enough. Then, we’ll notice a massive change in our life. Let’s not allow ourselves to settle for less; we deserve the best and we don't need to compromise on that.
4. Be more assertive
If we’re too afraid to do things because we fear failure, then this is something we need to work on. We’re missing out on the best opportunities because we think too much. The only person that is stopping us from being happy or successful is our own self. The important thing is that we go out there and try. We should learn to be assertive, say no for the things we are not comfortable with. We must never let go of our strength.
5. Talk to ourselves better
Don’t we berate ourselves a lot? The way we mentally “talk” to ourselves affect how we display it outside. Having an inner voice that encourages us as worthy and enough is priceless. Instead of engaging in negative self-talk we should try to cultivate an inner voice that affirms our strengths.
6. Focus on positive attributes
When we feel inferior, we are putting more emphasis on what we don't have instead of what we do have. Everyone has positive qualities. Let’s take an honest look at ourselves and our life. We can start by making a list of good things. It could be something like, ‘I have a good job with lots of room to grow’ or even ‘I have nice hair.’ When we're done, we realize how many good things we actually have. It might not make us better than someone else, but we don't have to be better. We just have to be happy being ourselves and be thankful for what we have.
7. Let go of any unreasonable expectations
There are certain things out of our control. We can’t always pretend to be something we’re not. This can apply to our relationships, goals, or capabilities. At some point, we have to recognize that we’re better off moving on and being authentic. We should not be too harsh on ourselves in order to be the 'smartest', 'the most intelligent' or the 'most beautiful', we can let go of the superlatives and still be happy.
8. Love the self
Self-love is the best solution to heal our inner wounds. Let’s not berate ourselves but accept ourselves totally. Self-acceptance and self-love are two keys to happy living. Self-love doesn’t mean being blind to our faults but loving ourselves inspite of them.
When feelings of inferiority affect how we live our life, then we need to do something about it. Let’s not live the rest of our lives feeling like this when each of us can become a better and happier person. Let’s not be afraid to reach out for help. It might seem like a big step, but our mental health is paramount.