Distinguishing between good friends and toxic friends


Vishwa Jani

Poet and writer

Friends are a very important part of our lives. Friendships can make our life beautiful and meaningful. But what we all have to make sure of is, to know which ones are real. There are two types of friends. Some are real and some are toxic.

Good friends are like family members. We should hold tight on these friendships. But unfortunately, not all are. Toxic ones can take a serious toll on us: on our physical and emotional health.

Here are some traits to differentiate between these two types of people:

1. Being supportive

Toxic friends always try to be in the spotlight but never try to help us get credit even when it is due. If they have a problem going on, they will demand us to be there. But whenever we have a problem, they will somehow be ‘busy’ and hence unavailable.

On the other hand, good friends will always be supportive. Efforts to uplift and support the other should come from both friends, not just from one person.

2. Gracefully responding to rejection or criticism

Good friends will accept even rejection from each other and ask how improvements can be made. They acknowledge each other. True friends also accept their fault when they make a mistake instead of making each other feel guilty for trying to be helpful.

Good friends don’t insert their agenda into our life and they appreciate us for who we are and they are non-judgmental. Dr. Pei-Han Cheng

3. Welcoming good news

One of the most essential parts of success is to celebrate it with a group of good friends.A good friend will always be a part of our celebrations; a toxic one sees competition in all aspects. If we are doing well, then, toxic friends will get jealous and confrontational.

A good friend is one that is genuinely happy when things go our way and we experience success or happy times. A toxic friend tends to be envious and struggles to share our happiness and eventually pulls away from the friendship: counsellor Deborah Olson

4. Radiating positivity

Good friends are the ones who make us feel good and inspired, rather than making us feel frustrated or exhausted. We should spend time with people who lift us not weight us down.

Good friends always encourage us and love us unconditionally.

5. Being trustworthy

We all know that the first thing in any friendship or relationship is trust. A true friend will always have our back and support us even in our absence. Whereas toxic friends lack loyalty and commitment. They engage in backstabbing and deploy competition in the friendship for personal gain.

True friends always keep secrets and are the people whom we can trust, even if and when we grow apart.

We need to know who are our real friends and who are toxic. It's better to live a happy and healthy life than to live it with the burden of a toxic friendship.

Fire false friends as early as possible. Do it before they dig out the dream seeds you've planted! The earlier, the better; the quicker, the safer!

- Israelmore Ayivor

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Rohit Chopra
We're so busy trying to increase the number of friends we have that we forget to check who are actually the "good" ones!!