Dear Self: Will you be my Valentine?


Paridhi Laddha

Psychology Associate

It's that time of year when all we see is love, cards, cholates, and flowers. Valentine's Day it is. But this season can cause anxiety for some who are seeking affection and bliss and for others who are celebrating their love with someone special.

Valentine’s Day isn't just about celebrating being in a relationship; it’s about celebrating the beauty of love.

This Valentine's Day, Zifcare urges you to see the day through a different perspective. By all means, celebrate your beloved, but designate time to honor yourself. It’s important to remember that happiness is not really determined by the external world, but by the internal world. No amount of flowers, gifts, or love from somebody else can fill the void created by a lack of internal self-love. Love is an inside job—and the irony is, in order to receive it, we have to already have it within. Self-love truly is the secret.

Learning how to be your own Valentine even makes it more likely for us to be someone else’s Valentine.

1. Saying 'I Love You!' to ourselves

Declaring our love for another is the absolute confirmation of affection, but have we ever said 'I love you!' to ourselves? Loving our own self is essential to strengthen our self-confidence and self-acceptance, and we deserve to love ourselves just as we give our love to others.

We spend a lot of time beating ourselves up about body image, unrealistic beauty standards, etc. Let’s take a moment and look at ourselves in the mirror and declare our love for ourself. Let’s start the day with the beautiful ritual of declaring our love for our own self and honor our body, since it's the only one we've got. Let’s love ourselves completely and only then will we realize what love really means to us and what we expect from it.

The most important relationship in life is the one we have with ourselves. And if we have that, any other relationship is a plus and not a must.

2. Telling ourselves how great we are

It is human nature to crave approval, to be praised, to be assured that one is beautiful, or that one is a good person. Once we learn to love ourselves before anything else, these assurances and approvals will come from within. We will learn to trust our own opinion, and the constant lookout for approval from others will no longer be a necessity. This will definitely make us more confident, which will radiate positive vibrations to others around us. We don't need to wait around for any other person to tell us that we're beautiful or smart or amazing.

3. Loving ourselves makes us healthier

When we love ourselves truly, we take care of ourselves just like anyone who takes care of someone he or she loves truly. So, we don’t let health problems take a back seat. We eat better because we know that is good for us. Our lifestyle is such that it is good for our body and mind. And as an addition, if we are at peace with ourselves, health problems automatically reduce because of the good hormones we allow to flow inside of us. Net result, not only are we beautiful inside and out, but we are also able to utilize the extra energy we have, in taking care of others because our health does not need taking care of much.

4. Advocating for ourselves

Many people who will go to bat for others, there are professionals who sing the praises of their colleagues, yet they often lack the ability to facilitate themselves. Let’s keep helping others because it's the right thing to do and it will make us all a better person and a better leader. But, let’s not sell ourselves short. If we cannot stand up for ourselves and show the world what we have to offer, then nobody else will.

5. Write a Love Note to the self

Writing ourselves a love note and reminding ourselves how amazing we are. There is enough negative talk in the world: we need more love notes, even if written by our own self. Let’s list the things that we love about our self, our achievements, our good qualities, how are we different from others, etc. It is always nice to remind ourselves that we are incredible.

6. Indulge in a treat occasionally

The definition of what a 'treat' is will differ from person to person but every now and then, we should allow ourselves a bit of extravagance, the way we would on Valentine's Day to make our loved one feel special. Whether it's chocolates, a spa day, or even just a nice relaxing hour with a good book, indulging in what we can really enjoy, and is a great way to show ourselves love and to remind ourselves that we're worthy of such an indulgence.

Let’s stand up for ourselves, our needs are important. We musn’t let anyone disregard them. We should always be vocal about our opinions and be strong with our values, not compromise on them just to please others. Let’s not be harsh too harsh on ourselves.

Let us be who we are. Our authentic, true self. Let’s spend some time alone for quiet reflection.

We can think deeply about think about our life, our goals, and our dreams. We can keep our words positive. Happiness and complaints cannot coexist.

Let’s do what we love. Bad jobs, bad bosses and bad organizations may happen, but suffering is optional. We can always develop a scheme to find our bliss vocationally in our work and in our hobbies. We can be willing to release what no longer serves us in all areas of our life. Allowing ourselves to be liberated from the ways of our past also allows us to connect to others in the deepest way possible.

There is no facial or beauty treatment that can give us the eternal glow of inner peace and love. This glow not only exudes from our skin but from our nature, our whole being, our aura, our very presence. This can only come from inner love which originates with loving ourselves first.

When we love ourselves, we can be the happiest person on the earth! That is, if we are always, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, with someone we love and care about deeply. Our own Self!

This gives us inner strength and confidence along with a sense of love that brims on the spiritual, which in turn makes us appear as a beautiful person on the outside too. And no matter what anyone says, who does not want to look good, that too all the time?

We must be open to love from others but let’s learn to love ourselves first. This Valentine's Day, let’s say, 'I love you!' and celebrate ourselves. We deserve it!

View more content by Paridhi Laddha

Rohit Chopra
Amazing article as always Paridhi !! Thanks so much 😇🙏
Vanshika Somani
Amazing ❤❤💯
shreya raj
Great article paridhi.
aditi neema
Happy Valentine's Day Paridhi!😊 Great work
Pari Laddha
Thank you so much everyone😊💛
Pradnyesh Mysorekar
Wonderful article.. 🙂
Surbhi Sharda
Your Perspective💯💯