HOW TO LET GO OF ATTACHMENT TO PEOPLE AND THE PAST
Today we’ve shared specific practices and ways to let go of excessive attachment.
1. Friend yourself
It will be harder to let people go when necessary if you depend on them for your sense of worth. Believe you’re worthy whether someone else tells you or not. You should be enough for yourself, you don't need people to validate your worth.
2. Hold lightly
This one isn’t just about releasing attachments, it’s also about maintaining healthy relationships. Contrary to romantic notions, you are not someone’s other half. You’re separate and whole. You can still hold someone to close to your heart; just remember, if you squeeze too tightly, you’ll both be suffocated.
3. Interact with lots of people
If you limit yourself to one or two people whom you depend on for everything, they will seem like your lifelines. Everyone needs people, and there are billions on the planet. Stay open to new connections.
We can help dissolve attachments with these practices.
Meditation is simply sitting still and trying to pay attention to the present moment — whether that’s your breath, your body, or what’s around you right now. What you’ll find is that your mind runs away from the present moment, attaching to worries about the future, planning, remembering things in the past. In meditation, you practice letting go of these mini attachments, by letting go, returning to the present moment. You learn that whatever you were attached to is simply a story, a narrative, a dream. It’s not so heavy, just a bit of cloud that can be blown away by a breeze.
Attachment is about not wanting things to be the way they are. You want something different. That’s because there’s something about the present moment, about the person in front of you, about yourself, that you don’t like. You can start to trust that things are OK just as they are. They might not be “ideal,” but they are just fine. Beautiful even.
3. Justify less
I can’t let him go—I’ll be miserable without him. I’d die if I lost her—she’s all that I have. These thoughts reinforce beliefs that are not fact, even if they feel like it. The only way to let go and feel less pain is to believe you’re strong enough to carry on even if things change.
1. Know you can’t change the past
Even if you think about over and over again. No matter how much you want to relive a lost moment, it won't come back.
2. Make now count
Instead of thinking of what you did or didn’t do, the type of person you were or weren’t, do something worthwhile now. Be someone worthwhile now. Take a class. Join a group. Help someone who needs it. Make today so full and meaningful there’s no room to dwell on yesterday.
If we are attached to life being a particular way, we are assured of being hurt when things do not follow as expected. Things don’t always go as planned. People let us down. The road ahead gets bumpy.
For example, if you base your day on your partner’s mood or getting the next promotion at work, you allow outward conditions to dictate your feelings. You are trying to control your outer world instead of trusting the process of life.
Just know you have the power to choose from moment to moment and how you want to experience things: with a sense of ownership, anxiety, and fear, or with a sense of freedom, peace, and love.